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Discussion Starter #1
As many of you know, I'm down here in lovely Phoenix. If you do decide to visit the Great Madcapmag, here's some helpful hints for driving. I personally love driving down here because its like a big game, only if you lose, you might end up in the hospital...

HOW TO DRIVE IN PHOENIX :

1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: "FEE-NICKS".

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon.
The evening rush hour is from noon to 7:00 PM.
Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101, Your speed is expected to match the highway number.
Anything less is considered "Wussy".

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, East Valley , SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix . Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the "I-10" are the same road. SR 202 is the same road as The Red Mountain Freeway and the San Tan Freeway.
Dunlap and Olive are the same street too.
Jefferson becomes Washington, but they are not the same street.
I-17 is also called The Black Canyon Freeway as well as The Veterans Memorial Highway.
And if all that isn't enough to remember, SR 51 has recently been renamed to Piestewa Freeway because Squaw Peak Parkway was too easy pronounce.
SR 101 is also the Pima Freeway except west of I-17 where it's the Agua Fria Freeway and South of SR 202 where it's the Price Freeway.
Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd. but, Cactus Rd. doesn't become Thunderbird Rd. because it dead ends at a mountain.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off" accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.


Number 12 is absolutely essential. I never quite understood hot it could be 70 degrees outside and still feel my skin burning off my flesh.
 

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Wait til you accidentally slide your leg or cheeks into a seat belt buckle that has been lying in the sun for a few hours slowly approaching the temperature of the sun. Not only will it give you an interesting mark to share with your buddies down at the jail, but it will immediately and seriously expand your vocabulary and voice volume. You might do it twice because you're a little slow that way, but I doubt you'll do it three times.
 

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WOW...welcome to the land of my forefathers, aaaaannndddd......don't even think about flippin ME off! Too funny dude, great post, every town has it's vibe. Glad you found Fee-nix's!!!! Have fun, enjoy the sun and have a great time...by the way...isn't it amazing how they can work the roads in them long sleeved shirts in the summer time.....yikes!~ :shock:
 

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How about driving at night. :D Then you only have to worry about the animals that like to sleep on the road because it is warm LOL
 

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I am down here now, and you are right. I have determined the goal of driving in Phoenix is to be in front of the care in front of you. As soon as you accomplish that, dang it all, there is someone else in front of you which you now must be in front of.

No turn signals, getting cut off and cutting off is just merging here, no big deal. Need car parts like doors, fenders, or shoes and pants? Look on the shoulder, you'll find it all. Highways are nice, though!

Oh, I see texting while driving is a must, too! Unreal. Those aren't papparazzi taking your picture in the intersection, those are the Mesa traffic cameras taking your picture because you got caught in the intersection when the light when red because the yellow only lasts for 1 second.

Oh yeah, need a rental car? FORGET IT!! Since 12 major league teams hold spring training here, there are no rental cars even if you did make a reservation. Hotel rooms? Forget those, too - all booked! So many teams they have their own league for spring training - The Cactus League. Our hotel is full of Cubs fans....GROSS!

If you do come down here, and finally get a car and a place to stay, go to Gilbert and have breakfast at The Farmhouse. Breakfast and lunch is all they do, world class. The sidewalk is full of folks waiting for an hour or more, get on the list and wait with them - it is world class and worth every minute you wait and penny you'll spend! Then for lunch, go across the street to Joe's Real BBQ. One word - fantastic. Then for dinner, go back across the street and across to The Grain Belt for the SOB Filet (Stick Of Butter). Cooked with a whole stick of real butter. I love Gilbert, cool little town.
 

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I have checked this place out for my next short vacation, cheapest airfare($546), cheapest car hire($412).

But nothing else to promote the place.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
Steve Ericsson, where are you! If you want a beer, let me know! Well... you'll have to retract that comment about my lovable losers first, though.

Sir John, there's just a lot of natural wonders, ie canyons. The Hulapai tribe recently built a walkway that hangs over the Grand Canyon, made of plexiglas, so you can look straight down into the gorge. There's also a lot of native american historical sites, like the houses built into the sides of cliffs. But not all of AZ is desert! Plenty of mountains and gorgeous trees, almost like Washington in some parts. Its amazing how you can go from 80 degrees, then be in snow in about 3 hours. Few cool little towns, too. Right now is not the best time to be looking for a deal, because it is peak season, with spring training and all. Summer is usually the cheapest, but it is also the hottest. Hope you'll come around some time!
 

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The old man has done the Grand Canyon, also the Flintstone place on the way up there. :)

If I was to come to Phenix, I would collect my car and head out of town, find a motel and put my head down and then head for a fishing spot next day.

I would only use Phoenix town as a landing place as I do not like big towns and prefer getting out and about.
 

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I'm on hwy 60 and Gilbert Rd. tonight at the Hampton Inn. We're moving tomorrow to another place off 202 until Friday, not sure after that. With the teams in town, can't find a steady room. We'll be here until sometime next week. PM your cell and I'll give you a ring if we get a chance.
 
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